TEACHING NOTES Speaker: Jimmy Cash ‌ Joel 2:25-26 25 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. 26 And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. ‌ Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. ‌ Romans 8:1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. ‌ 1 Corinthians 13:13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. ‌ “Shame keeps us from hope, but godly Hope keeps us from shame.” ‌ SHAME ‌ How I feel about myself (my feelings, faulty belief system) determines and establishes a wrongful thought pattern which prevents me from doing right. ‌ I cannot believe the faulty belief system and do the will of God. ‌ In order to create a new thought pattern, I must allow for my mind to be transformed by renewing my mind into believing what the word of God says about who I am. ‌ This transformation takes place when I CHOOSE to see myself differently (from how I see myself in shame how I see myself loved by God the Father). ‌ When I CHOOSE to feel differently then I begin to CHOOSE to THINK differently—because I now see myself as loved and not condemned by God. I can now begin to choose to think differently about the choices that are available. ‌ I CAN obey the Word of God. I CAN change my behavior. ‌By choosing to think differently, I can choose to live differently, and by doing so, I am literally living out Romans 12:1-2. ‌I cannot do any of this, if I do not deal with unresolved shame. ‌ God will not heal what I hide. ‌ “Guilt (healthy) says I did bad…Shame (toxic) says I am bad.” ‌ SHAME is Defined as: ‌ Shame is emphasized as the humiliation at the loss of esteem. ‌ Shame includes the idea of feeling humiliated or embarrassed as from inadequacy or inferiority (not being good enough). ‌ Shame also includes the pain by losing the respect of others. ‌ Shame is the ultimate result of losing respect for myself. ‌ Shame is never harmless, inconsequential, or easily ignored. It will not go away on it’s own. You cannot “outgrow” shame. Stuffing or burying shame into our subconscious mind only makes it more dangerous and destructive. ‌ Shame never just goes away. ‌ Shame tells you that there is something inherently wrong with you, rather than your actions or behavior. ‌ Shame is always the product of the failure or perceived failure to meet expectations from someone that I desire approval: God, others or myself. ‌ This failure results in rejection or perceived rejection. ‌ Therefore, failure and rejection are key elements of shame. ‌ Suffering rejection from someone that I desire to please may result in me rejecting myself. ‌ When I feel that I am not good enough to be accepted by either God or the people that I consider most important, I will reject myself. ‌ SHAME says to us: ‌- I am a mistake. ‌- ‌I am flawed and defective as created by God. ‌- ‌I will never be good enough. ‌- ‌I am unworthy and will be ultimately rejected as soon as people find out who I really am. ‌- ‌I am a failure and will never be good enough. ‌- ‌I am identified by my sin not my Savior. ‌ “Shame is a sickness of the soul. It is the most poignant experience of the self by the self, whether felt in humiliation or cowardice, or in a sense of failure to cope successfully with a challenge. Shame is a wound felt from the inside, dividing us both from ourselves and from one another.” – Kaufman, Gershen (1996) “The Psychology of Shame, 2nd Ed. ‌ ““We do not struggle with shame because of sin, we struggle with sin because of shame.” - C.M. Wright ‌ Self blame is the most common expression of shame in our daily lives. Self-blame is the demonstration of a grudge: therefore, shame is an accusation by SELF against SELF. ‌ Unforgiveness is EXTREMELY damaging to my spirituality regardless of whom my grudge (bitterness) is targeting: God, others, or myself. ‌ SOURCES OF SHAME ‌ My own actions - the most obvious sources of shame are: ‌- those things that I did that I regret doing ‌- those things that I did not do that I regret not doing ‌ Rejection - The real or perceived rejection by someone significant to me. ‌ Alienation or Abandonment - victim of sexual or emotional infidelity by their spouse ‌ Victim of divorce, either as a child or a spouse ‌ Victim of desertion, either as a child or a spouse ‌ Survivors of a loved one who committed suicide ‌ Those left behind by a spouse or parent that dies unexpectedly ‌ Abuse - As defined violations of the person: ‌ Physical abuse (by parent, spouse, etc.) ‌ Sexual abuse (statistically, the violator is a close friend or relative) ‌ Self-inflicted abuse (masturbation, drugs, alcohol, shopping, shoplifting, gaming, gambling) ‌ Pornography ‌ Class rejection - Shame experienced by a group of people because of rejection as a group - usually the result of persecution, enslavement, cultural revolution, defeat in war, being cast out by a larger group, being misunderstood and being labeled something that you are not - racist, -phobic, bigot, fascist, etc. ‌ Self destructive behavior - Acting out, pain pursuing pleasure. Shame begets more shame. Shame is the root cause of ALL destructive behavior.•Class rejection - Shame experienced by a group of people because of rejection as a group - usually the result of persecution, enslavement, cultural revolution, defeat in war, being cast out by a larger group, being misunderstood and being labeled something that you are not - racist, -phobic, bigot, fascist, etc. ‌ THE CYCLE OF SHAME ‌ 1. Shame-Based Identity (how I feel about myself) - I begin to associate myself with the person that shame has convinced me that I am: someone worthy of more rejection, I become convinced that I am hopelessly flawed and that there is no change possible within me. ‌ 2. Distorted Thinking (Faulty Belief System/how I think about myself) - I convince myself that I need someone or some thing more than I have within me to be happy, to feel complete, to feel better. I reinforce this thought with if I could just find something external that is better than what is internal, then I could feel better about myself. ‌ 3. Acting Out Feelings (Pain Pursues Pleasure) - I resort to searching for ways to fulfill my longing for external distractions from my shame. This includes self-medicating with alcohol, prescription pills, illicit drugs, over-working, binge shopping, pornography, extramarital affairs, etc. ‌ 4. Life Damaging Consequences - The results of my actions obviously serve only to severely compound my problems. These actions have now caused as escalation of shame beyond my imagination. ‌ SYMPTOMS OF SHAME ‌- Bitterness and Unforgiveness ‌- ‌Quick Temper ‌‌- Prideful stubbornness ‌- ‌Self-loathing ‌- ‌Depression ‌- ‌Loss of hope, faith and love ‌ Hope is the antidote of shame. ‌ Romans 5:1-5 1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. ‌ James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. ‌ Confess — Pray — Be Healed ‌ How to Respond Prayer: Ask God to reveal what needs to change. Repentance: Agree with God and repent of sin. Worship: Thank God for what He is doing in you. Communion: Take Christ in and renew faithfulness. ‌ Next Week: Overcoming Shame ‌