TEACHING NOTES Introduction Many Christian marriages are struggling are many other are in crisis. Spouses easily drift apart as the busyness of our culture, individualism, and the lack of a biblical foundation pull us further away. Today we end this series in the same place that we began—unity is the priority. But there can be no unity between husbands and wives without being unified with Christ. ‌ Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” ‌ The goal of marriage is not to be two people but to be one unified person. ‌ Genesis 3:16 “Your desire shall be against your husband, but he shall rule over you.” ‌ Sin causes us to rule over/against each other, but God wants us to unite together to rule over sin together. ‌ In Ephesians 5, Paul ties all of this together around Christ. ‌ Ephesians 5:21 21 Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ… ‌ Note: This is a transitional sentence that connects Eph. 5:1-20 to 5:22-33. Essentially, this sentence is taking what was previously said to all of the church and showing how it applies to those who are married in the church. ‌ Submitting to one another = Grk. hypotassomenoi allelois - While this phrase can refer to a co-submissive relationship, hypotasso is also used to mean “attach or join.” In both senses of the phrase, unity is at the root of what Paul is saying. In the church, we are called to “consider others more significant than yourself” (Phil 2:3). We are accountable to one another and we share resources in order to care for one another. Submission is never to be one-sided but must be mutual. ‌ Out of reverence for Christ = Grk. en phobo Christou - Literally, “in fear of Christ.” The Greek word phobos can certainly refer to fear, but also refers to reverence or respect. These two glosses are not opposites, but one supports the other. In other words, it is a fearful thing to disrespect Christ. Christ submitted Himself to provide what we needed (forgiveness), so we follow Christ’s example and submit to Christ and one another. We revere Christ by being like Christ to our fellow Christians. ‌ Ephesians 5:22–24 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. ‌ Wives, submit to your own husbands = The key to understanding Paul’s meaning of “submission” in this passage is found in Ephesians 5:31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (quoting Gen. 2:24). The Greek word for “hold fast” is proskollao, which means “to be attached.” It seems that Paul intends us to interpret “submit” as a command to be unified. ‌ As to the Lord = Just as wives should be attached to Christ and seek His desires over their own, they should do the same with their husbands. The idea here is that as a wife gets closer to Christ she also gets closer to her husband. ‌ The husband is the head of the wife = Modern readers have a difficult time with reading this phrase in its historical and cultural context. In our culture, women have the opportunities and rights to be self-sufficient. In Paul’s context, most women could not survive without being married. Paul’s anatomical metaphor here (the head) reflects the fact that the husband was the leader and provider of the home, just as the body cannot survive without the head. This is not really an issue of authority or rule, but is about unity and being one flesh. ‌ Christ is the head of the church = Not only is Christ “the head” as the authority and leader of the church but He is also the Savior, source, and provider of the church. Christ is not merely a King who reigns over us at a distance. Christ desires to be in a unified relationship with His Bride (the church). ‌ Submit in everything = Or “be unified/attached in everything.” ‌ What problem is Paul trying to solve? Paul’s source text in this passage in Gen. 2:24, which is quickly followed by Gen. 3:16 “Your desire will be against your husband, and he will rule over you.” If we isolate Paul’s commands here to submit to one another from Genesis, we will misunderstand Paul’s meaning. Being unified in everything is the solution to “your desire will be against your husband and he will rule over you.” The solution is NOT for one to rule over the other. The solution is to STOP trying to rule over each other for selfish desires. ‌ Ephesians 5:25–27 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. ‌ Husbands, love your wives = It would be easy from our modern perspective to think, “Why would Paul have to tell husbands to love their wives?” Loving your wife seems like common sense to modern people. In the ancient world, however, loving a woman was more rare than we realize. In the Greek culture of Ephesus, women were sub-human and were not respected nor loved. In fact, pagan writers marveled at how Christian husbands loved their wives as their equal. ‌ As Christ loved the church = The husband is to love his wife in the same way that Christ loves the church. How did Christ show His love for the church? He gave Himself up to the point of death. He “emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant” (Phil. 2:7). But this is not a one-time action. Jesus did not stop at the cross. He continues to love His church in the following ways. ‌ That he might sanctify her = The Greek word for “sanctify” here is hagiase from the root hagiazo, which means “to make holy.” Holiness is the Bible is about being unique/different and set apart for a divine purpose. Jesus offered Himself as a perfect sacrifice to cleanse us of sin and set us apart for Himself. In this way, the church is a unique and special people among all the nations. ‌ That he might present her to himself in splendor = This could be translated, “that he might present the church to himself in honor.” Or “that he might stand by/with the church in glory.” The idea here is that Christ desires to present His church as something He is proud to have died for and saved. This same image is seen in Hebrews 2:12 “I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.” ‌ Ephesians 5:28–30 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. ‌ He who loves his wife loves himself = If God’s purpose for marriage is to be “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5-6; Eph. 5:31), then we are intended to be one body. To love your spouse is to love your own body. In biblical marriage, the husband and wife are not two individual people, but are one flesh. ‌ Nourishes = Grk. ektrephei - to feed, nourish, provide. Many husband do well with this one and even enjoy providing for the family. God seems to have wired men to be providers and protectors—although many modern men and women are rejecting God’s design. ‌ Cherishes = Grk. thalpei - to comfort, make warm. This is the part that many men struggle with. Some men have a difficult time comforting their wives, either because they are not very emotional or have not been comforted much themselves. In the ancient world, loving and comforting your wife would have been counter-cultural. Paul commands Christian men to be different from the world around them by loving and comforting their wives. ‌ Just as Christ does the church = Christ nourishes and comforts the Church on a continual basis. The people of Christ (the Church) are “members of his body.” Therefore, Christ the Head provides all that His body needs to thrive. Why? Because the followers of Christ are His hands and feet in this world. As the body of Christ, we are continuing the work of Christ to reach the world. ‌ Note: The book of Acts, Luke begins by saying, “In the first book…I have dealt with all that Jesus BEGAN to do and teach, until the day when he was taken up” (Acts 1:1-2). Then the rest of Acts describes all Jesus CONTINUED to do through the apostles and the Church. Luke and the apostles understood that the Church is literally the body of Christ in this world. ‌ Ephesians 5:31–33 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. ‌ Paul quotes Genesis = When Paul quotes Gen. 2:24 here, he is providing the source text or the biblical foundation for his teaching on marriage. To “hold fast” and be “one flesh” is the entire point of marriage. ‌ Leave = Grk. kataleipsei - unattach. While this word can also mean “abandon” we know that is not the meaning here. The Torah commanded children to “honor” their parents, which literally meant to care for them when they are old. So, “leave” refers to detaching from being dependent on your parents. Eventually, the parents became dependent on their children. ‌ Hold fast = Grk. proskollao - to unite, join together, attach. This is the basis for Paul commanding husbands to “cherish” (comfort, make warm) their wives. In order to “make warm” you need to hold one another. ‌ One Flesh = Grk. heis sarx - one flesh, one body. This is the very opposite of individualism. You cannot be one flesh if one is ruling over the other. Submitting to one another is unifying and living as one flesh. ‌ This mystery is profound = Grk. mysterion estin mega - Literally, “this is a mega mystery!” We must understand that Paul is not using “mystery” in the modern sense. The modern sense of mystery refers to something that cannot be understood. Paul uses “mystery” to refer to something that was not previously understood, but has now been revealed in Christ. Paul is saying that two becoming one in marriage pointed to Christ and His Church (the Bride). Christ sacrificed Himself to be unified with His Church. That is our example for marriage. ‌ Let the wife respect her husband = The Greek word for “respect” here is phobetai, which usually refers to fear—but here refers to respect or high regard. Sin causes wives to be against their husbands (Gen. 3:16). In our modern culture, men have been degraded, demonized, and demoralized. This has led even Christian wives to view their husbands as the idiot of the home. Wives disrespect their husbands and treat them like a child with a paycheck. Then they wonder why he acts like a child and doesn’t want to be at home. ‌ Conclusion ‌Faithfulness to Christ and unity with Christ is the foundation of marriage. ‌Abiding with Christ is the key to an abiding marriage.