TEACHING NOTES ‌ Introduction Today we begin a series about relationships. While this series will say a lot about marriage, what we’re going to learn applies to all relationships. All that the Scripture tells us about love and marriage also applies to other types of relationships. So, if you’re not married this series still applies to you. The starting point for us today is to begin with the foundation of relationships. In the Bible, love is supposed to the foundation that we build from. ‌ 1 John 4:7–8 ESV 7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. ‌ 1 John 4:9–11 ESV 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ‌ Propitiation = Grk. hilasmos - This is often viewed as a payment for debt in the Western mindset. However, this is actually the word for mercy or the means of forgiveness. A better translation would be, “God sent his Son to be the offering that brings mercy and forgiveness.” ‌ 1 John 4:16 ESV 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. ‌ God is Love While we may think that we understand what it means that God is love, most modern believers have a distorted view of this concept. Most modern people have a different definition of love than the Bible. ‌ The Modern View of Love: ‌- Love is a noun that happens to you. - ‌Love is a mystical feeling or force. - ‌Love is conditional or contractual. - ‌Love is primarily about yourself. ‌ Therefore, if God is love and we have the wrong view of love, we will also have the wrong view of God. This leads to the most important question: What is love? ‌ Love = Grk. agape - the act of putting another before one’s self. Agape is a verb, an action of sacrifice for the sake of others. ‌ If God is love, then whatever the Bible says about love is also a description of God. ‌ 1 Corinthians 13:1–3 ESV 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. ‌ I am a noisy gong/clanging cymbal = Anything done without love is merely an annoying noise. ‌ 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ‌ Love is patient = Grk. makrothymeo - long suffering, remain peaceful while waiting, maintain internal and external control in difficult circumstances. ‌Love gives time and makes time for others. ‌ Love is kind = Grk. chresteuomai - to be kind, to show mercy. ‌Love gives mercy. ‌ Love does not envy = Grk. zeloo - to be jealous, to set one’s heart against the success or achievements of another. ‌Love celebrates the success of others. ‌ Love does not boast = Grk. perpereuomai - to brag or elevate yourself above another. ‌Love is not arrogant = Grk. physioo - to be puffed up, prideful. ‌Love is humbles oneself to elevates others. ‌Love is not rude = Grk. aschemoneo - to behave indecently, to dishonor another. ‌Love gives honor to others. ‌ Love does not insist on its own way = Grk. ou zeteo heautou ho - to seek one’s own desires, to be selfish or self-serving. ‌Love is sacrificial. ‌ Love is not irritable = Grk. paroxyno - to be easily provoked to anger. ‌Love is not easily angered. ‌ Love is not resentful = Grk. Literally, “it keeps no records of wrongs.” Resentment comes from storing up a record of wrongs. ‌Love keeps no record of wrongs. ‌ Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing = Grk. ou chairo epi ho adikia - does not celebrate when bad things happen to others, does not celebrate injustice. ‌ Love rejoices with the truth = Grk. synchairo ho aletheia - celebrates truth, as opposed to hiding the truth. ‌Love celebrates honesty and truth. ‌ Love bears all things = Grk. stego - to endure, to withstand pressure, to persevere. ‌Love believes all things = Grk. pisteuo - to stay faithful no matter what. In Greek, to believe and to remain faithful is the same word (pisteuo). ‌ Love remains faithful in all things. ‌ Love hopes all things = Grk. elpizo - to look forward to, to have confident trust. ‌Love endures all things = Grk. hypomeno - to remain, to stay on course. ‌Love never ends = Grk. agape oudepote pipto - Literally, “love never falls down.” ‌Love endures for better or worse. ‌ Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. ‌ Christ is the example of real love. ‌ Conclusion I want to illustrate what love looks like with a personal story. Many people know that in my past I had a major failure that deeply hurt my wife, my family, and everyone else in my life. Everyone knows that part, but I’ve never told this story to anyone before. What happened is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever experienced in my life. It taught me what love looks like. ‌ One night in the week or so after I repented, I went to take a shower. I was going through the most difficult time in my life. I had sinned against God, my wife, my family, my friends, and my church. My career was seemingly over. Everyone was hurt and many were angry. I had overwhelming guilt, embarrassment, and depression. I felt ashamed, defeated, worthless, and hopeless. I was convinced that the rest of life would be full of regret and the loneliness would never end. ‌ So I decided I needed to listen to worship music (unusual for me). I felt that I needed to hear truth sang to me. So I opened Spotify and discovered that Elevation Worship had an acoustic album. Because hearing all the instruments tends to distract me from the lyrics, I decided an acoustic album was what I needed. So I started on the first song and let it play the entire album. I stood in the shower and began to weep in amazement at how every song spoke directly to what I was feeling. ‌ The last song on that album was “Here In The Presence” of the Lord. “Mercy is falling, falling. Lift up your hands, receive it now, here in the presence of the Lord. I know your past is broken, you can move on it’s over now, here in the presence of the Lord. Tired of running, running. Be still and know He’s in control, here in the presence of the Lord. Pour out your heart before Him. Open your arms He’ll hold you now, here in the presence of the Lord.” ‌ I got dressed and sat down on the side of the bathtub and wept as I heard that God was giving me mercy and wanted to wrap His arms around me and wanted me to pour out my heart before Him. And while I was sitting there weeping I felt a person wrap their arms around me also weeping. It was the arms of my wife. The person I had sinned against was now helping me get through it. And she’s been doing that ever since the day I confessed it to her. That’s what love looks like. And that’s exactly what God is like.