TEACHING NOTES ‌ Introduction Last week we learned from James that communication is vital to solving conflict. He wrote, “You do not have, because you do not ask” (James 4:2). Today, we’re going to learn about the importance of communication and how to talk with wisdom. There are two problems to discuss:‌ 1. Lack of Communication ‌2. Reckless Communication ‌ Proverbs 18:1 ESV 1 Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. ‌ Isolation = Lack of communication is a form of isolation. When we isolate ourselves, we are showing that our sinful desires have us enslaved. ‌ Breaks out against sound judgment = In isolation, we refuse to listen to wisdom. The Hebrew word for “breaks out” is yitgalla, which means to be hostile or quick to fight. “Sound judgment” is about wisdom, success, or victory. Isolation (refusal to communicate) over time leads us to become hostile against wisdom. We stop talking, then we stop listening. ‌ Isolation is rebellion. ‌ Proverbs 18:2 ESV 2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. ‌ No pleasure in understanding = A fool has no interest in understanding. They have no interest in doing the hard work of communication. Why? Because they would have to admit that they could be wrong. ‌ Only in expressing his opinion = People who don’t like to be wrong are often very opinionated. Fools don’t want listen, they just try to force their opinion on others. ‌ Fools want to win, but the wise want to understand. ‌ Proverbs 18:6–7 ESV 6 A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. 7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. ‌ Proverbs 18:13 ESV 13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. ‌ Proverbs 18:20–21 ESV 20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. ‌ Wise communication promotes internal peace. ‌How we use our words is a matter of life and death. ‌ Proverbs 18:22 ESV 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. ‌ Ephesians 4:25–27 ESV 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. ‌ Falsehood = Grk. pseudos - lying, deception. We live in a culture driven by deception and manipulation. Our relationships are always at risk, because every person has a daily battle against their own deception. ‌ Speak the truth = Followers of Jesus don’t sweep truth under the rug. We don’t let things build up by holding back truth. We must counter darts of deception with truth. As Jesus said, “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Jesus said this to a group of Jews who were deceived. ‌ We are members of one another = This is a deep truth of the New Testament. Believers are not separate entities, but each are a part of the same body of Christ. Since we all belong to Christ, we are members of each other. We are one body. In the context of marriage this relates to Gen. 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” ‌ Just as the church is one with Christ, the husband is one with his wife. ‌Communicating helps to keep us bonded together as one. ‌ Be angry and do not sin = Being angry is not sin, but harboring anger leads to sin. The solution is to talk it out quickly before the sun goes down. Sleeping on your anger often leads you bury the situation and turns into resentment over time. ‌ Give no opportunity to the devil = The Greek word for “opportunity” here is topos, which can mean a place or occasion. Paul is saying that unresolved anger gives the devil a place to work in your life. It’s like giving the devil an office space in your life and relationships. ‌ Ephesians 4:29–30 ESV 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ‌ Corrupting talk = Grk. sapros logos - rotten, worthless, harmful words. ‌ Most modern communication is dishonoring, negative, and critical. ‌ Only what is good for building up = The Greek word for “building up” is oikodome, which means to edify or be constructive. As followers of Jesus we seek to speak life into others, not tear people down. ‌ Honor, encouragement, and appreciation has become rare but have the power to transform lives and relationships. ‌ As fits the occasion = Grk. tes chreias - as needed. Building up others is not a one-time act, but a continual and intentional practice. ‌ Do not grieve the Holy Spirit = If we neglect giving people honor, encouragement, and appreciation, it grieves the Spirit of God. The Holy Spirit is the bond of God’s people. When we speak life into others, the Spirit rejoices and glues us together. ‌ Ephesians 4:31–32 ESV 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ‌ Be put away = The Greek word here is artheto or airo, which means to take away or destroy. Paul gives a list (bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander) that believers must destroy from their lives. ‌ Along with all malice = Grk. pas kakia - all evil, wickedness. Wickedness is not random sin, but manipulative and planned sin. ‌ Kind = Grk. chrestos - good, benevolent. This isn’t merely a response, but an intentional desire to do good to others. Kindness is not a reaction, because kindness goes first. God used His kindness to bring us to repentance (Rom. 2:4). ‌ Tenderhearted = Grk. eusplanchnos - compassionate. Compassion is not a reaction of feeling sorry for someone. Biblical compassion is a strong, inner desire to serve another. Jesus was moved with compassion for people in Matt. 9:36 “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” ‌ Forgiving = Grk. charizomai - This word comes from the root charis, which is the Greek word for grace. To forgive someone is to cancel their debt. In Greek, this is considered to be a gift to the other person. Grace is God giving us what we don’t deserve and not giving us what do deserve. ‌ As God in Christ forgave you = The model/example of how to forgive and how much to forgive is the cross. We don’t get to redefine forgiveness with our own ideas or definitions. God defined and displayed forgiveness at the cross. ‌ For believers, forgiveness is always the goal. ‌ Conclusion ‌God has shown His love by giving us His Word. ‌God has proven His love by sending His Son (the Word). ‌Jesus gave us Communion as a reminder of our unity. ‌